I received some more questions from enterprising drivers on Route 3 – apparently I didn’t cover all the bases last week.

1. Is it okay to fling many lit cigarette butts from my car?
Absolutely. We encourage you to make the drive interesting for others, and giving them a “light show” of the butt hitting the ground and sparking is a great way to do that. If you’re not a smoker, we encourage you to check out Monkey’s ‘R’ Us in Lowell – you can pick up a low-end, chain-smoking chimp for not much, and train him to fling the butts out the window for you.

2. What are some signs I might see on Route 3 while I’m driving?
Here are just a few:

• Road Work, Next Quadrillion Miles
• Driving in Breakdown Lane Prohibited Some of the Time (You’ll know when we pull you over)
• Road Integrity Dubious at Best

Well, you get the idea.