I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a lot of things (how’s that for vague), and while they aren’t really what I like to talk about in this forum, I will say that it feels like I’m on the cusp of seeing (positive) changes in my behavior based on that thinking. Being more intentional about (all sorts of) things. Being more connected to how I’m feeling in a moment, not just (usually long) afterward. Seeing more clearly patterns in my own behavior, as well as that of others.

For some reason, all this has made the William Carlos Williams poem pop into my head:

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

This isn’t a complete thought, I recognize, but it’s something, and when I look back in a year or two or five, I hope I’ll remember how I’m feeling.

After a week on the East Coast, I’m back home in Seattle. It was a very up-and-down trip, during which I celebrated a friend’s wedding, and also my grandparents’ lives, saw lots of friends and family, and spent a whole lot of time in transit from one place to another. In my planning, I somehow had the foresight to fly back on Saturday evening, leaving myself a day to reacclimate to West Coast time, attitude and environs, and I’m thankful I did.

I spent the morning drinking awesome coffee (which, except for my brief stay with relocated Seattle friends in New York and a chance good americano in Boston, was sorely lacking all week) and wandering the Broadway Farmers Market with Drew.

[ Farmers market haul: an heirloom tomato, an onion, an eggplant, squash, spicy salad greens, pears, carrots, a jalapeno, short ribs, and lemon cucumbers. Not pictured: a tasty apricot pastry that disappeared quite quickly. ]

I love that I can wander a few blocks from my house to a farmers market where 35 different local producers will sell me a week’s worth of fruits and vegetables (along with meat, cheese, flowers, ice cream, bread, etc.), all happy/local/organic, of course, for a totally reasonable sum of money. I love that in the course of shopping, I’ll run into 5 or 10 people I know from the neighborhood, and I’ll probably meet a few more. I love that I usually get to make meals from these shopping trips with good friends who also live in the neighborhood, like I did tonight (the tomato and cucumbers were great with a little olive oil, salt and pepper). I love that the farmers market will go until December 20th this year.

That’s only a snippet of things I like about my life in Seattle right now, but as always, being on the East Coast does make me remember how much I miss it. Most of my family is there, and I left behind a lot of friends in Boston when I moved four years ago, not to mention all the ice cream (which I partook of liberally during my two days in Boston last week). I miss being close to my grandparents’ place in Connecticut, where time seems to slow down.

I’m still not sure exactly what I was looking for when I left in 2005, or if I’ve found it. I’m not feeling 100% settled right now, but I do know I’m in a good place surrounded by good people, and one way or another, I’ll figure it out.